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Tsismis has a lot of things going for it. The casual space on the Lower East Side has a bunch of plants, murals, and multi-colored light fixtures, along with a bar in the middle of the dining room. The wine list is filled with bottles that cost around $50, and the Filipino dishes, like lumpia, fried fish balls, and strip steak with garlic soy sauce, are all shareable. The problem is that almost all of the dishes taste like they’ve been prepared for someone who has an aversion to spice, salt, and strong flavors in general. The wings with hot mango salsa aren’t hot, the ceviche tastes like flavorless jello, and the angel hair with crab fat sauce doesn’t have any discernible crab flavor. If you’re looking for a spot to get food with a group before a night out on the LES, there are better options nearby.

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